Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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