It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
