Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
