just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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