She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
