Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
