I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
