A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
