Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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