i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
