somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
