do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
