Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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