omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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