Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
