if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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