lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize