I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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