Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just had sex on a roof
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
