Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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