Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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