You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
