Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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