Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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