The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
