Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
