oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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