Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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