I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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