so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
