It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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