Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
