Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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