So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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