it wasn't lemon gatorade
too bad you live with your parents still
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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