My first STD was from a foam party
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize