then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
