i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
