And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
