Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
