i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He's on the porch naked. Help.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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