My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Vodka?
Forever.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
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