If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i will never coherently bang her
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
