somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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