no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
