Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
