Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
