Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
