I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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