I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
