I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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