Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
