WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
