i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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