they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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