Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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