You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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