24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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