I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
