is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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